Third Interview Transcription

Me: So, you said you're a student at St. Cloud State right now, and you've been here 4 and a half years, and you are going into electrical engineering?

Chandra: Yes.

Me: Okay, can I ask why you came to St. Cloud just to start out?

Chandra: Actually, I had a friend back home he was my classmate, he came here first, you know, he told me this school is good, they have a nice program and it's a big university, I think it's the second largest in the state of Minnesota, and the other thing is I get here, because most international students have to pay out of state tuition fees like if we go to other states, but this school offers in state tuition fees for international students. I'm not from a really rich family or something, it's a third world country.

Me: Yeah, it's always expensive regardless of where you come from.

Chandra: Yeah, it's affordable compared to other schools.

Me: And how are you liking it here? Anything interesting?

Chandra: Uhm, Yeah, a lot of things are different, you know, to learn things here. When I first came here, it was sort of different I didn't know what to do, the food was different, everything was different, I remember the first time I went to subway the first day, I knew subway meant an underground railway network, my friend was like, you want to eat subway? I was like, maybe there's some railway network he's going to take me there. Then I thought, okay lets go. Then I thought, oh that's a subway now. Then he asked me, what do you want to eat? I didn't know all the sauces, like the sauce they use and mayo and all these things. We don't use mayo, we don't have these kinds of sauces, we make homemade sauces, these are all ready-made food. He asked me, what sauce you want? I was like uh, he was like what kind of bread, and we don't eat those breads, we have different kinds of bread back home, there was like Italian and you know. So I guess, I don't know, I just didn't want to look stupid, I just went whatever you want to get, I'll get the same thing. And he asked my do you want lettuce, and I went yeah, are you adding that, and he said yeah, and I said yeah of course then. So things were different. Nepal is a mountainous country, and it snows all year 'round. The higher part of the mountains it snows all year 'round. And the place where I'm from, I've never seen snow, there was no snow in that place.

Me: Really?

Chandra: The first time I came here, it was really cold for me, because I was from lower lands.

Me: Which area were you in?

Chandra: The southern part, the lower lands.

Me: So more in the plains?

Chandra: Yeah. 'Cause you know if you go from north to south, within 100 miles the elevation goes from 100 meters to almost 8848 meters.

Me: Basically it's a little over sea level to highest mountain in the world.

Chandra: Yeah, it's like a hundred meters is not very high, it's where I'm from.

Me: Okay, did you actually live in the city before coming here?

Chandra: Yeah, I lived in the capital city, I finished my high school in the capital city.

Me: You originally lived in the south and kind of moved into the city?

Chandra: I traveled a lot of places through my school life, you know, In my high school I changed my school 7 schools. Every year I had to change with my dad, he works for the government, he's a cop, so they transferred the cops from different places so I had to move with him.

Me: We have something here called military families that move to bases all over the country.

Chandra: Yeah, just like that.

Me: So if you don't mind, I'd like to start out with some of our first questions, you can look it says, what is the value of family in your culture, like how important are they and in what ways are they important.

Chandra: Like, family is really important in our culture, people used to go for collective families, you know, now it has more nuclear families, the small ones. But in the olden times, before my generation, most of the time they were collective, how would you say that, large families?

Me: Yeah, I know what you mean.

Chandra: And everyone cares about each other and you have,  like here, they hire nannies and all those people to take care of these people, but back home you had their cousins to take care of all them when their parents are not there, or grandfather, grandmother. When I was young, my dad used to travel a lot, I didn't like to traveling when I was really young and then I used to stay with my grandfather, and my cousins and my uncles took care of me.

Me: So you preferred to stay at home most of the time?

Chandra: When I was young, but when I grew up, when I was more than 10 years old, I traveled a lot of places after that. It's very important because we have a hierarchy in the family. The culture is different so, we have hierarchy, if you're older, and I'm a younger guy, then you will be taking care of me, for everything. That's how it goes, like if I go with my dad, to some restaurant, I'm not going to pay for my part and he's not gonna pay for his part, I've seen a lot of people do that here. Once I worked in a restaurant, and it was my Uncle's restaurant during the summer time, I was serving the tables, and I see a lot of people come here together but they pay separate, because mom was paying separate, dad was paying separate, and kids paying separate, I was like, what's wrong, you know? That was like, culture shock to me.

Me: Even for me, that's a little unusual to be that much, Even parents would go together usually.

Chandra: If I always go with my Uncle of far uncle, back home even, those far uncles pay for you because you are younger, unless you are in really good money and they don't have really good money, then you can pay for them.

Me: So then, you said you're having more nuclear families now. Is that also in the countryside or is that only in the city?

Chandra: Even in the country side now, Like lets say I have three kids and my parents have three kids, and they grew up and they want to have a separate family, then part time they stay with one of the family members, then in festival they all come together. All your life, like, they don't kick you out from your house, it's like if my dad owns something, I own that. That's how they do it. It's my dads, but it's like, can you bring your car, even if that car is your dads car, you go, okay I'm going to bring my car.

Me: Do they let you do almost anything you want then?

Chandra: No, there are some limitations, they don't let go crazy just like here, you have to be under control. And they make sure they will provide you everything, they will pay for your school and give you pocket money. People normally don't work until they find a professional job.

Me: But they aren't really touchy about property you're saying? Like they own something, you can use it if you want, instead of saying, No this is mine.

Chandra: Yeah, I mean if it's there property it is your property, not mine is separate and yours is separate.

Me: A lot of people here are like, if it's mine you stay away from it.

Chandra: Yeah, yeah, It's not like that.

Me: Okay, can we talk a little bit more about the family structure. You said kind of like there's a hierarchy, do you want to elaborate more on that?

Chandra: Hierarchy means we have different words for respect. If you are my age, if I have to point at you, I say you. If I have to point someone senior than you, I say the same word as you, but back home we have different pronouns. If you are my age, I will use a different pronoun to you, if someone is younger than me, I will use a different pronoun to call him. If he's a little bit older, we have different pronouns for that. For dad, parents, grandfather you have different pronouns for that, and we have a different pronoun for king.

Me: Okay so, can you tell me a little bit more, how is the structure, who does what kind of thing for the family?

Chandra: Normally, father is for a nuclear family head of the household, and normally moms are housewives, they are housewives and they work too outside. Father earns all the money, and they combine all the money, like both my parents work, whatever my father earns he just gives it to my mom, she's like the manager of everything, when you take the decisions, my dad makes the decisions.

Me: So the mom's kind of manage the money, but dad's still decide how to spend it?

Chandra: Yeah, you have to clear it with him if you want to get something. When they are doing something like buying a house, they ask us too now, because we have grown up and know about stuff like this.

Me: So they kind of care about family opinions then?

Chandra: Yeah, they do. Depends on the family too. My grandfather he never listened to my dad, he was straightforward, whatever he wants to do, he still tries to control the family like that. He's still old-minded like that.

Me: Okay, so it's moving more towards people agree instead of deciding?

Chandra: I wouldn't say agreed, It depends on, of course my dad probably knows more stuff than my grandfather right, the way he got educated, the way he understands the system, and I probably know more than him because times are changing, the new rules and everything. So that's why my dad likes taking opinions from everyone, but my grandfather doesn't, because he has his own way of living.